HERTFORD DUNNE FOR BUT WEEKENDERS HAVE TOO MUCH CURRIE.

Hertford 208-7 dec 54 overs

WCC 150-9 46 overs

Match drawn

The precise origin of this fixture has become a bit uncertain with the passage of time but the mystery was cleared up after the game on Tuesday by a Hertford stalwart with a long memory. ‘It started in the mid-seventies when you brought a team of celebrities along. We thought we were onto a real money-spinner’ recalled the club official wistfully.

Unlikely as it sounds, the Swift brothers had pulled out all the stops and dragged along a clutch of vaguely familiar TV faces for a grand Sunday celebrity challenge match. A marquee was set up, plus PA system, food stalls, tombola, paddling pool and a clown for the kiddies.

‘We thought it was going to be a fantastic day’ said the Hertford man in a way that didn’t suggest a happy ending. ‘You had Judith Chalmers, you had the bloke off Rumpole, you had that actor who played Constable Rosie. It could have been a real financial lifeline for the club - an annual event even.’

So what went wrong?

‘You just weren’t good enough. We tried everything to get you in the game. We batted left-handed, we ran ourselves out, we bowled long-hops but it was hopeless, completely hopeless.’

And thus was established the tradition - honoured down the succeeding decades - of Weekenders letting themselves and the club down both on and off the park. The following year we were relegated to playing the 3rd XI on an artificial pitch which we had to push on a trolley to a site two fields away. And there we stayed for the next fifteen seasons, unencumbered by the trappings and pressures of celebrity.

But after some smooth talking from our Secretary Tony Smee in the early 1990s we were once again promoted to the main square and awarded a game in Hertford’s cricket week. Thanks to a number of freak signings (Tony’s downstairs neighbour from Barbados and a Zimbabwean backpacker who happened to be passing by) and to our occasionally playing out of our skins we have remained in pride of place ever since. But we’ve always felt that our position is precarious and we are only one bad game away from pushing the trolley across the fields again. It normally takes an outstanding performance to save face. Last year it was a Hogben century and this year it was Steve Dunne’s turn to obliterate a few more traces of the Chalmers legacy.

The Borrowash Bullet produced one of the most outstanding performances in the club’s history (and a remarkably intelligent one for a state-educated bowler from the north) to take five for 40 off a marathon eighteen overs. It conjured up key wickets at vital times to hold the hosts in check. Douglas plugged away at the the other end without much luck but Hertford never quite got away.

Skipper Chiari bowled immaculate leg spin in a way which, allied to his blond hair, blue eyes and immaculate Winchester forward defensive, continued to undermine the plausibility of his preferred nickname, Keeza the Geezer.

Maloney slotted neatly into the Judith Chalmers role with the ball and Lyons (one of two survivors from the original debacle) bowled uncannily like TV’s Rosie. But keeping the hosts to less than four an over on the flattest wicket of the season was a tremendous effort masterminded by Dr Chiari, backed up by some unusually competent fielding and executed by his faithful servant, the evergreen Dunne.

Maloney and Hogben got the Weekenders reply off to an excellent start with 49 off the first ten overs but a heavy shower slowed the wicket and against a miserly eleven over spell from Currie the innings stagnated.

The chase was theoretically maintained until, with nine wickets down, three overs left and sixty runs needed, Dunne and Douglas blocked out the draw. It was an uninspiring end to a performance which nevertheless probably just about kept us on the fixture card.

So Weekenders continue to maintain their dignity at Ball’s Park and while the door has never been officially closed on Chalmers, TV’s Rosie and the man who was in Rumpole it is beginning to look as though there may be no way back for them.

STATS
HCC 208-7 dec 54 overs

Douglas 16-2-59-1; Sackville 8-1-34-1; Dunne 18-9-40-5; Chiari 6-1-16-0; Lyons 3-0-20-0; Maloney 3-0-26-0

Perry 52, Kent 52 not out

Catches: 1 each P Harvey(kpr), Douglas, Dunne, Johnstone.

Explanations for sitter decked: Maloney (41)

WCC 150-9 46 overs

Maloney 40, Hogben 47, M. HArvey 3, Johnstone 8, Chiari 11, P Harvey 0 (run out), Pennington 1, Lyons 3, Sackville 16, Douglas 3 not out, Dunne 1 not out

Currie 11-0-38-1, Kent 7-2-11-2 , Gilbert 5-2-10-2

Names removed from P Harvey’s Christmas card list: 1 (Hogben)