Skipper Simmonds wins toss and inserts.
Chris Douglas

Astonishing reflex, left-handed catch by Lyons at first slip. But beneath a
broiling Buckinghamshire sun Weekenders bowlers and fielders struggle to
contain the strokeplay of oppo skipper.

The cracks begin to show as opening bowler angrily accuses stumper Maloney of
moving his dog turd run-up marker.

Home team skipper cruises to three figures despite two potentially fatal
errors: one was a lofted on-drive and the other was the use of a patronising
tone to question the competence of the scorer (Carmel).

Affronted 'keeper Maloney slams field-placing as TV's Martyn Read is posted
at longstop.

Missenden declare at 209 for three. Douglas, PJ Harvey and Freeman the
pole-poachers.

Simmonds and Maloney set off at a spanking clip in pursuit of a stiffish
five-and-a-half-an-over ask. Weekenders fall behind the clock but
mysteriously refuse to collapse in abject, craven surrender. Elegant cameos
from Lyons, Maloney, Hugh-Jones and a thunderous thirty from PJ restore
pride. 9th wicket pair Martin and Douglas hit out for a draw, 40-odd runs
shy.

Oppo skipper wears stripey blazer in pub and spectacularly fails to make his
wife say 'I love you' in front of everyone. Tragically Carmel not there to
see it.

Opening bowler and keeper restore friendly relations and carb deficit in
Holloway Road curry house.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: team fags kindly provided by Hugh-Jones, Read and Harvey.